Pavitra Gurumurthi

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Anger reveals what has been violated

Ever remember being angry and feeling good about yourself?

The nightmare of self-hatred that goes along with the feeling of anger, one might as well sign up to live in hell.

There is a stench of something undead, rotting away in the dark dingy corner of low self-worth, self-love and self-acceptance.

‘I shouldn’t be angry’ says one voice. I am blessed with everything that life has provided me with.

‘They didn’t deserve to experience my anger’ says the other. They are always so good to me, they care about me and oh look what I’ve done.

But like a ticking time bomb, anger quietly simmers underneath the niceness of being a loving, socially acceptable human.

If we were only to burn incense, chant and be pleasing always, why do we have the energy of anger so easily accessible in our body?

Are we the only beings that can access anger in our body?

What about animals and plants?

What about the earth, water, air and fire?

When we step out and zoom outward from our microscopic view, we observe that anger is an integral part of our existence.

Ever experienced the raging wind of a tornado? Or the tsunami from the ocean goddess? How about the fierceness of bushfires?

All expression of anger is worthy of its presence.

 

The purpose of anger

Anger arises when a boundary has been violated. Anger, an automated inner mechanism to integrate an energetic imbalance so that it can return itself to equilibrium.

In today’s world, anger shows up when we are subject to lack of integrity, respect, love and care. When we feel controlled, lied to, taken for granted, not trusted, made to follow rules and regulations that are not in alignment with our hearts.

So, when anger pops its transformative head in to say hello:

  • Welcome it with open arms and let it show itself to you. Give the anger space to be simmer without rushing to shut it down or manipulate it into submission

  • Ask yourself what part of you feels violated. Where have you unconsciously or consciously let your boundaries be taken advantage of? 

  • Allow yourself to freely express the anger without hurting yourself or another. Whether that is screaming into a pillow or out in nature, hitting a pillow to release the pent up energy of anger in the body or just dancing or shaking it out of your body

  • Find a way to communicate the feeling with the person who may have triggered anger if it feels safe and in alignment with the expression of anger. This communication will feel expansive if it is coming from a place of curiosity with an intension of building deeper intimacy.
     

Most of all remember, that if you unintentionally erupt like an unexpected volcano, give yourself a big hug and gently breathe.

It is not your fault and there is no reason to feel guilty about expressing a natural part of our human life.

Know that you are part of this intrinsic multidimensional life and your angry outburst does not define who you have come to be.

It’s never been about you and them.

It’s always been between you and God.