Reclaiming my motherland
Today is the Annular Solar Eclipse in the sign of my moon.
Moon representing home, emotions, comfort, safety and security.
Coincidentally I find myself back on my motherland, having just landed only a few hours ago.
As the plane taxied to station in the wee hours of the morning, my body trembled with many stored memories of pain.
This time I felt different.
The memories were alive but I noticed there were no more stories attached.
I reflect back to 15 years ago when I first left India.
Very different energy, one that was filled with disappointment, isolation and separation.
At the time, the exact words of a traumatised 22-year-old were, 'I am never coming back to India ever again'.
And I carried the pain of these words in my body every time I visited.
It's been six years since my last visit.
Six years since my mother's passing.
But 15 years since I had rejected my past that has been inconspicuously feeding into my present and my future.
TODAY, I AM ON MY MOTHERLAND.
As I experience the sun kissing my skin.
I notice an interesting sensation in my body.
To say nothing.
To do nothing.
To just BE.
Observing with curiosity, the tender and intimate way in which my body is integrating.
I recognise that my only task to patiently hold myself with love while every cell in my body reunites with its birth country.
The country I felt I never had the right to embrace.
My soul chose to follow a different path, one that nudged me to break through all man-made traditional and cultural expectations.
This path frightened me.
It frightened many.
It caused me to face deep rejection for my core need for belonging.
I thought I hadn't made peace. I knew I had a long way to go.
But I notice a delightful ease birth within, one that the mind cannot comprehend.
The ease of no resistance.
Leaving behind pure acceptance.
One of crystal clarity.
That no one, not even God, could separate the child from the motherland that gave it life.
INDIA, I LOVE YOU.
From your rebellious little child.
My wish for you
May today's beautiful new moon eclipse remind you that even the sun, moon and earth cross each other's paths for an embrace, a remembrance and a deep acknowledgement of the mystery of life. May you use this mysterious coincidence to ignite the fire within to create a life of new beginnings.