The lonely life of intimacy

When did loneliness touch our lives for the first time? Is it simply a new phenomena of our current experience, a generational wave or lifetimes of its presence passed on by our ancestors?

Although it may be hard to admit, loneliness is ever present in our everyday life. We are constantly in conversation with loneliness.

'How can I feel less lonely today?' 'Why do I feel so lonely' 'How can I overcome loneliness' 'How can I keep myself distracted so I don't feel so alone'

'Hope I can get over the loneliness'

There is a strong sense that we do not belong. Each of us battling with maintaining our uniqueness yet desperately trying to fit in. A few of us are blessed with the care of loved ones, near and afar and yet there is a deep sense of void - something is missing. We carry the heaviness of this void unconsciously yet eagerly looking to unburden ourselves by anyone or anything that will relieve us of its weight. But it always finds its way back. 

No matter how much we learn to sit with the void, nurture the void with loving presence, and make peace with its shadow, we cannot deny its longing. The deep longing to find home, that is not of self.

As much as we would like to think that this home can be found in another, we are blinded by our one dimensional view of existence.This view reduces our belief between self versus other.

And thus, we remain attached to the inexhaustible game of maintaining our independence while fully surrendering to merge with another.

How may we honour this longing, not in response to our attachments, but in reverence to what the void represents?

Introduction to Intimacy

Intimacy is a double-edged sword. It threatens the very nature of independence and self-identity that we have worked hard to achieve, yet it is the only gateway to divine union of interdependence, the ultimate pleasure of experiencing creation in its truest form.

Today, in our society, we crave intimacy like never before. Like a drug, we look for when we can experience the next hit so we can bask in the glory of this union before it fades away, fully aware that its supply is running low.

Maybe out of fear of never experiencing intimacy again, we even harden our amour of independence and self efficiency. And come to rely on artificial forms of intimacy i.e. casual sex, movies, food, travel, all in the pretence of being adventurous.

All the while the energy of intimacy feels like beggar on the street who hasn't eaten for years, alone and at the verge of giving up dying with hopelessness.

Essence of Intimacy

If loneliness and intimacy are two sides of the same coin, can one exist without the other?

In a world that is poverty-stricken with lack of intimacy, how can we re-member the true essence of intimacy?

• Bringing conscious presence to the way our breath touches our body internally in a deeply intimate way - how does the warmth of the air entering through the nose touch parts of you that may have been frozen out of fear or neglect?
  
  
• Inviting tenderness to thoughts, feelings and sensations that ebb and flow as a form of an intimate dance with life
  
  
• Creating intimacy in the way that we give and receive life - notice the energy with which you are giving and receiving? Does it feel transactional or is there a deep sense of appreciation, love and care
  
  
• Observe when the mind takes over as a drive to establish intimacy to feed its sense of self. Intimacy is initiated from the heart and when the mind takes over, it will slice it into logic until it bleeds to death.
  
  
• Explore how intimacy has touched your life in more ways than one in the past and how can that energy can be reignited to continue to breathe through your being.

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While we are on the path to building intimacy with another, may we honour the sacred void of loneliness as a guide towards deep intimacy with life.